Wearing Less Makeup and Finding Confidence In My Natural Self
For most of my teens and early adulthood, a full face of makeup was non-negotiable. The process was just as much a part of my morning routine as showering and breakfast, even if it meant waking at ridiculous hours … and somehow, still, finding myself scrambling out the door and applying finishing touches at red lights.
Makeup was my armour. A confidence booster. Like magic, it could hide or elevate almost anything.
Then, things changed.
My eyes started reacting to my favourite mascaras and eyeshadows, and the dark spots on my cheeks darkened – a consequence, no doubt, of inadequate sun protection.
Beyond the physical changes, I started questioning why I was pouring so much of my energy and self-esteem into a reflection that often didn’t even feel like mine.
I no longer wanted to be someone who only felt beautiful when perfectly made up.
I wanted to reclaim beauty on my own terms. So, I began stripping it all back.
Over time, my routine evolved from what I’d jokingly tell friends as “putting my face on” to a more effortless, skin-first approach that leans into my natural features.
What did makeup mean to me?
Makeup, to me, felt like a shortcut to social acceptance.
I thought, the more effort I put into my appearance, girls were nicer to me. It was also easier to find something to strike a conversation about or bond over.
Additionally, I’d get attention from boys, and I remember, on two separate occasions, receiving compliments on my eyes – something that really stuck with me as an East Asian girl growing up around mostly non-Asian faces, and served as a testament that the tips and tricks I’d learnt on YouTube must be working!
One time, I landed a job I was completely underqualified for, and I’m almost certain it was because I showed up to the interview all dolled up. One of the male interviewers even commented on my appearance, which, looking back, should’ve been the first workplace red flag.
The feeling that we’re treated differently depending on whether we’re “done up” appears to be a common experience for many women.
And that’s what scared me most about stepping away from makeup.
For so long, I was wearing makeup for everyone but myself.
When things shifted.
Sensitivities and skin conditions
At first, it was my eyes. They’d get so dry and irritated throughout the day, despite being strict with hygiene and expiry dates.
I then developed a bad habit of rubbing my eyes for relief (even in my sleep!) which left the surrounding delicate skin dark and flaky.
In denial, I tested various mascaras, makeup removers and eyeshadow formulas, but nothing really worked. So, finally, I had no choice but to give my poor eyes a much-needed break. This is what kicked off my ‘detox’ from makeup.
On top of that, the hori nevus and melasma on my cheeks were becoming more noticeable and my trusty triple-threat of primer, foundation and concealer could no longer camouflage them.
A screenshot taken from my vlog: Unfiltered Summer Moments where I talk about hori nevus and the importance of wearing sunscreen.
Admittedly, I was way too lax with sun protection (when, in retrospect, I probably should’ve been hypervigilant, being blessed with sensitive Asian melanocytes).
But, at the time, it just “didn’t work” alongside my makeup routine, especially with how mineral sunscreens were back then.
So, the time came when I had to ask myself: why am I prioritising looking good over feeling good? Why am I willing to endure discomfort just to be perceived a certain way? Is it all in my head?
Mindset
Around the same time, I was fresh out of a year abroad in Seoul: a place I’d describe as the capital of the ‘beauty Olympics’.
Whilst over there, I was around many BEAUTIFUL women who, in their eyes, always had some part of their appearance to “fix”.
Me, 2017-2018, whilst living in Korea
Returning home, and stepping away from the constant influence, I realised I didn’t want to live my life defining my worth by how I looked.
I saw how beauty could put you in a cage. The obsession would never end.
I started to think, is that the kind of woman I’d want little-me to look up to? And, if I placed so much of my worth in how I looked, how would I handle ageing?
I don’t want to sound cliché, but it hit me. Outer beauty is fleeting, but who I am, what I bring to the world, how I make people feel… those are the things that last and where I should invest my time and mental energy.
Lifestyle
Meanwhile, I entered a new relationship and was introduced to a new way of looking after myself. We’d spend a lot of time hitting the gym or in the kitchen where he taught me how to cook healthy meals.
As I started taking better care of myself, I noticed not only the changes to my body, energy and overall wellbeing, but also my complexion. My face had a glow!
And, with newfound confidence in my natural self, I stopped wearing makeup to the gym. It was like exposure therapy at first, but boy did it feel good to sweat without that cling-wrap feeling to my skin.
Then, the desire to wear less makeup on the regular came naturally.
Where I’m at now
Whilst, admittedly, I still use makeup to cover up my Hori Nevus and dark spots, I can leave home without it and still feel confident.
Moreover, makeup is no longer about completely transforming my face, like making my eyes bigger or my nose teeny-tiny, anymore.
Instead, I see it as a way of enhancing what I already like about myself, enjoying a ritual, or simply to moisturise my skin or brows. Additionally, I’m focused on being healthy, feeling good … and always ensuring I have enough sun protection on!
Jump scare! A very “close friends” kinda selfie… showing you that I’m applying adequate sun protection.
My minimal, skin-healthy makeup routine today
…may be a lot less sexy or colourful. But I feel more free, comfortable, confident and I never have to wake extra early to go anywhere (side note: getting in quality Z’s have also helped me feel and look better!).
Base
Naked Sundays mineral sunscreen
Tower28 Beauty concealer
Eyes
Kosas brow gel
Lash curler
Lips
Nude by nature moisture shine lipstick
Burt’s Bees lip balm
Honourable mentions:
Naked Sundays’ skin tint
Physicians Formula booster eyeliner
Nude by Natures mineral foundation
Ilia Beauty balmy tint
Hurraw lip balm
Skin-care makeup hybrids have become my go-to. I love knowing that what I’m applying is doing more for me, like a beauty treatment.
For example, the brow gel is a relatively new addition. It gives me an instantly modern look and I swear it’s helping my brows grow because I’ve literally never seen them this lush and thick!
I’m always on the lookout for new launches in this space, and I’m curious about trying fun eye looks this year (but with makeup suitable for dry, sensitive eyes AND formulated well) and skin-friendly blush products.
Finding confidence in my natural self
I’ve come a long way – from feeling like I had to wear makeup to validate myself, to now enjoying the simplicity of a more skin-focused and feel-good routine.
It’s taken time, and several dips and waves, but this unintentional makeup ‘detox’ has helped me love myself as I am.
However, all this doesn’t mean I’m swearing off makeup forever. Rather, I’m redefining what beauty means to me now, and that’s something rooted in good health, comfort and an appreciation for my natural features.
This article was originally published on White Rabbit Social 🖤