Easy self-soothing techniques to calm stress and overwhelm
DISCLAIMER: This article shares my personal experiences with stress and self-soothing. It’s intended for general wellbeing inspiration only and is not a substitute for professional advice. If you’re struggling with your mental health, please reach out to a qualified professional or support service.What do you do when you’re stressed? Or how about when you’re feeling down and blue?
Growing up, I didn’t have healthy go-tos when I felt overwhelmed. I’d either completely shut down or find ways to escape whatever I was feeling.
After an argument, I’d disappear into my phone.
When I felt sad, I’d reach for alcohol … or whatever that’d numb the feeling fastest.
Sometimes, that also meant gorging myself with food until I felt sick.
Clearly, I didn’t know how to handle big emotions very well. And I’m sure I’m not alone!
Nobody teaches us this stuff.
I only managed to reach a middle ground with emotional regulation more recently — in my late 20s.
Why Healthy Self-Soothing Matters
Here’s the thing:
Unhealthy coping patterns are stealing your life.
Think about all the time, energy and mental space you’ve lost to avoidance or numbing out your feelings. Or the relationships we’ve damaged? And the negative impacts on your health?
How are we supposed to build the life we want when we’re constantly standing in our own way?
That’s exactly why I had to figure out healthier alternatives. And okay, I’ll admit. I don’t have it down perfect (old habits die hard, y’know?).
But still, I want to share my list of some simple, accessible practices that I go to when navigating stressful times.
Low-Effort, Low-Cost Ways to Self-Soothe
Here are some of the ways I self-soothe. Some might work for you, others might not. The goal is to experiment and build your own personal toolkit.
Seek Warmth
Take a shower, wrap yourself in a blanket or make yourself a hot cuppa. To some extent, physical warm and emotional warmth may be interchangeable. Perhaps, that’s why some therapists recommend taking showers and baths when you’re feeling down or lonely.
But a sidenote on the shower: emphasis on warm! I know how good a steaming hot shower feels, especially in our freezing Australian winters, but think: would I shower a baby in this water? Your skin barrier, hair and scalp will thank you!
Step outside and feel the sun on your skin. Sunlight exposure is known to have various health benefits, but it’s also thought to increase serotonin production too (aka feel-good chemicals in your brain).
sometimes you just need to get outside!
Process and Reflect
Journal. Write out negative feelings and try leaving them in the pages.
Sometimes, I’ll also use my journal as a place to objectively examine what I’m feeling rather than just venting.
I’ll ask myself questions like:
Is this fear realistic?
What’s the worst that could happen?
What would I tell a friend who has this same worry?
one of my reflection journal entries
Other times, I’ll skip the heavy stuff completely and just list things I’m grateful for. Simple (but still very profound!) things I sometimes forget, such as having a roof over our head, a loving partner and access to fresh water and food.
Create and Nourish
Make yourself a snack, but be intentional. Sometimes when we’re stressed, it’s easy to reach for a bag of snakes or chips, but ask yourself:
am I feeding my body what it needs right now, or am I trying to feed an emotion?
It could be a piece of toast with a creative mix of toppings (have you tried avocado with hot honey?!), fruit arranged nicely on a plate, or simply taking the time to actually taste whatever you’re eating instead of mindlessly consuming it.
Or if you want to go all out, bake something! Or as I’d like to refer it: try baking therapy.
When I’m feeling down, I love taking up baking experiments.
the ingredients to make some of the best banana muffins i’ve ever had
Baking requires you to be present and focused. I find it very meditative and rewarding.
Plus, the smell of baked treats wafting through your home is a high of its own!
banana muffins. yum :)
Get artsy. In the same vein as ‘baking therapy’, I also believe in art therapy! That’s why I keep an emergency canvas somewhere in the house.
And don’t overthink it. Let it be light.
If you don’t know what to paint, can’t go wrong with flowers and nature.
yes’m taking commissions 😂
Move Your Body
Shake it off. Sometimes referred to as ‘somatic shaking’, jumping and shaking your body is an easy and quick way to release stress and tension.
Breathing exercises. My favourite breathing technique is the 4-7-8. You breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and exhale over 8. It helps me fall asleep at night too!
Go on a (mindful) walk. Aside from the multitude of physical benefits that come with walking, the most noticeable for me has been the grounding and gratitude aspect.
In Australia, you’re bound to hear birds singing. Perhaps you’ll also see a dog.
It’s amazing how stepping outside can instantly give you perspective — my problems feel less overwhelming when I’m reminded there’s a whole world happening around you.
Slow Down and Restore
Give yourself a little beauty TLC. Whip out the curling iron, clip your nails, do a hair mask — whatever makes you feel like you’re showing your appearance some love. It’s not about looking perfect for anyone else, but about taking time to care for yourself in a tangible way.
BOO.
For example, after I do my weekly pore care routine, I’ll lie down with a cold sheet mask on my face, feet up against the wall, and listen to something light-hearted and feel-good for those 10-15 minutes!
a weekly routine!
Want some audio recommendations? Here are some of my recents!
A good hang with Amy Poehler – the Dakota Johnson episode
Yoga nidra – as recommended by Dr. Andrew Huberman
Affirmations on YouTube – Lavendaire has some good ones.
Get Organised
Laundry. Okay, I’m perhaps one of those weird few who LOVE laundry. It really gets my dopamine flowing.
It’s mindless. You’ve got to do it anyway. Plus, getting into a fresh crisp bed at night has to be one of the best feelings.
Decluttering. In the same vein, cleaning or reorganising your home (or your mind!) can help free you up.
Here’s a little list of things you can do now.
Dispose of any expired spices and condiments in your kitchen cupboard
Donate clothes you haven’t worn in a year or shoes that hurt your feet
Delete any old screenshots on your phone you don’t need
Unfollow social media accounts that don’t make you feel good
Throw away any old magazines, notebooks, textbooks from school.
And there you have it. The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed or just need a moment to reset, pick one or two of these healthy self-soothing techniques.
The beauty of healthy self-soothing is that every time you choose to journal instead of doom-scroll, or take a mindful walk instead of rotting on the couch, you’re actively pulling yourself out of a rut and moving forward.
Moreover, when you prove to yourself that you can handle whatever life throws at you, you build confidence and emotional resilience.
Those are skills I truly believe will help carry us towards the life we dream of ☁️🩷
This article was written for White Rabbit Social — an online space that connects, supports, and uplifts women through beauty and culture in Australia.